


Pain is sorrow

by kplex12



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Oh Sehun-centric, Physical Abuse, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-06 06:53:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15880824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kplex12/pseuds/kplex12
Summary: All I feel is pain all I am is a burden I question my life but now I'm uncertain





	Pain is sorrow

Sehun can remember exactly when all the physical and emotional abuse started happening to him. It was the day exo was introduced to their new dance teacher. At first, he would just say little things about sehun’s dancing or question why he's the lead dancer.   
  
  
As time went on he started making comments about sehun’s weight saying he was to fat and need to lose some pounds. The verbal abuse continued to go on, the dance teacher went as far as to saying Sehun was a bad maknae, he's holding his group and he’s the reason kris, tao, and luhan left.  
  
  
As the months went on the verbal abuse turned into physical abuse, The first time sehun was hit by the dance teacher was when sehun was instructed to stay behind again  while the others headed home   
  
  
Sehun only nodded when the music started, he began dancing when out of nowhere the dance teacher started to yell and hit at sehun saying he's just holding the group back and the members don't love him they just pity him, his the reason for all the bad things that have happened to the group.  
  
  
Twenty minutes had passed before he stopped and left a crying sehun on the floor and this continued to happen without anyone knowing, Chen once asked sehun what happened to his cheek. He quickly made up a lie about how he accidentally hurt himself. Chen nodded and told him to be more careful next time.   
  
  
Overtime sehun began to grow more and more depressed starving himself distancing himself from the members anytime they would ask sehun something he would give a short answer. The physical and verbal abuse towards him only had gotten worse the dance teacher had printed all had hate comments suhen would receive, An forced sehun to read them in front of a mirror when it was just the two of them,   
  
  
_Sehun is so fat_  
  
  
_Why is he even in exo_   
  
  
_He’s just a burden to the group _  
  
  
_He shows no power or emotion when he dances_  
  
  
__Even the worst dancers in kpop groups dance better than him  
  
  
Sehun was deeply hurt by the comments “am I really a burden”, sehun thought to himself after having to read those comment he started to hear weird voices in his head telling him the same the dance teacher would say but they were worse they would tell that if he killed himself that the members would no longer have a burden on their shoulders.   
  
  
  
Sehun appearance had changed, he was so skinny you could see his bones,sehun wore hoodies and baggy clothes to hide all the bruises he’d had received. Now he normally kept to himself, anytime the members would ask would he like to go out, sehun would quickly decline and stay in his room hardly coming out for anything--but schedules and work, at night sehun, would silently cry himself to sleep, he made sure he was quiet not to wake anyone he didn't want to burden the members even more.   
  
  
The members became truly worried about sehun anytime they asked him about a bruise or was he okay, he would make up some lie or just say he was tired. They really did try to give their maknae the Privacy that he deserves but they couldn't help but be worried and feel like something was wrong and something was off.   
  
  
  
Sehun was now at the point where he wanted it all to stop the voices, the nightmares and the abuse it was just too much he wanted to stop being a burden to all his members and everyone around him.  
  
  
It was average an morning for the exo members, everyone except sehun had scheduled today, sehun was the last to wake up as the members were just gonna let him sleep since he had stayed behind to practice. The 9 member group ( minus lay whos is in China ) were all cracking jokes even sehun was laughing.  
  
  
Which surprised the members main they missed his smile, for another hour or two exo joked around with each other before they had to leave “bye hyungs” says as he watches them walk out the door. For some reason, the members felt uneasy leaving sehun alone but they waved goodbye.   
  
  
  
Sehun walked over to the window and watched the members get into the van, he let out a small breath then walked back to his bedroom, sehun sat down at his desk grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. Sehun began to write a letter to his hyungs, in the letter he wrote how he was sorry that he was such a burden and he didn't mean to cause them any trouble and how much he loved them.   
  
  
  
  
After finishing the letter he put it in the envelope, sehun had gotten up an headed into the bathroom reset the letter on the counter the turn on the bath he got in as the water filled up. Tears started to spill from sehun eyes, he questioned if this was the right thing to do was it really worth it. He just didn't want to be a burden anymore he let out a small side rolled up his sleeves he took the razor blade that was in his hand and held it up to his wrist.   
  
  
  
Sehun made three deep cuts on his wrist he watched as the blood started to come out, he then made the exact same cut in his another wrist, he closed his eyes as his body was under water,sehun started to remember all the good times he spent with his hyungs. Soon his body started to shake begging sehun for air but he ignored it and let his lungs fill with water.  
  
  
“this is it, I’ll no longer feel pain my hyungs will finally be happy sehun thought as he was consumed with darkness and his soul leaving his body.   
  
  
**  
  
  
Baekhyun had gotten done what does schedule a little bit earlier than planned. With all this free time he had he decided to go back to the dorm and hang out with sehun he felt like they've been distant for a while and you wanted to reconnect with their maknae.  
  
  
  
“Sehunnie “ baekhyun said as he enters the dorm taking off his shoes, “sehun I got by us bubble tea “ baekhyun said but he didn't get any response “sehun “ he called out again, “is he sleep “ he thought as he began to walk through the hallway he stopped in his tracks when he heard the water running in the bathroom . Baekhyun pushed opened the door and looked inside, his eyes wide in and facial expression changed to utter horror.  
  
Therein bloody bathwater laid sehun, dropping both drinks baekhyun let out a scream as he quickly moving over to the bath and pulled out sehun, his skin was  so cold to the touch and his lips were blue baekhyun sat suhen down an tried to revive him but nothing was working " please sehun don't us please " baekhyun said before he broke down crying he held sehun close to him as he cried.   
  
The rest of exo had just rest had just returned when they heard someone crying " is that baekhyun "  Chen asked the others "I think so, I'll go check on him" xiumin said before walking off to where the crying was. The rest of the members were about to sit down when they heard xiumin scream, they all quickly rushed to where he was "xiumin what's.."chen stopped mid-sentence.   
  
Standing there was a horrified xiumin and baekhyun crying while holding a lifeless sehun .”S...se..sehun “ kai said as he moved to where baekhyun was he fell to his knees and broke down crying, soon the scream and cries were followed by the other members. 

 

After that everything went slow for exo when they called their manager and told him what happened he quickly rushed to the dorm when he got there, he found kyungsoo  crying into suho’s chest , kai with his knees up his chest slowly rocking himself, chanyeol, chen, xiumin all sitting down with puffy red eyes , his heart dropped when he saw baekhyun hold sehun he walked over to him and touched his shoulder which caused baekhyun to freak out .

 

The manager pulled away from his hand, he took out his phone and called the paramedics. It didn't take long for them to arrive but as soon as they tried to take sehun away from baekhyun, he freaked out even screaming at them to not to touch suhen and they were gonna hurt him leading baekhyun to hold on to ehun more tightly 

 

It took a full fifteen minutes for the medics and chanyeol, chen and suho to get baekhyun off suhen even though it pained them too, suho wrapped his arms around baekhyun as he cried.     
  


The manager could only show sympathy to the Exo members, he pulled out his phone and called sm to inform him of sehun passing. 

 

***

 

SM couldn't believe what he was hearing from exo manger “ please look after the rest of exo for the time being “ sm said hanging up the phone “now for the hardest part “ sm thought as he looked through his contact list then calling sehun parents to inform them of their sons’ passing which they were left devastated. Next, he contacted all sm artist before going onto exo fan cafe. 

**Hello, this is SM entertainment we here to sadly inform everyone that EXO**

**member Oh Sehun has passed away.**

 

SM let out a sign not even twenty seconds later he started to receive many phone calls from people asking if it was true about sehun passing. News of sehun's death spread quickly many fans were shocked and heartbroken. 

  
  


*** In China, The next day after sehun death ***

  
  
  


“Hello every im mc Lee an today we have very special exo member Yixing Zhang also know as lay and former members Lu han ,  Kris Wu, and Huang Zi Tao or Tao, “ the mc said as he introducing them. “ Hello, “the for said waving to the audience” so it's good to have you all, “ Lee said “ it's good to be here” lay said, luhan nodded smiling “ do you guys miss seeing each other “?  he asked the for nodded.

 

“So ,I have to asked how did you guys take the news” the mc asked, the four of them a gave a confused look “ what news “ ? kris asked, “ you guys haven't received the news yet “ he said  “ what news “ lay said, “ That sehun has passed away “ the mc lee said . 

 

Luhan, Kris, Lay, and Tao quickly stood up from their seats “ what are you talking “ luhan , “ yeah is this some kind of sick joke “ lay said  the mc shook his head “ yesterday SM released a statement when yesterday saying sehun had passed “ the mc said 

 

At that point, Tao, Lay Luhan, and Kris walked off the stage “hay what do you think you're doing “ the producer said walking up to the four but they just ignored him. They each went to their manager and told them, they wanted the next flight to Korea right now. 

 

Each manager was at first about decline an tell them to go back on stage, but they only nodded the next flight to Korea was in an hour and thirty minutes the four idols only nodded each getting into the same car as it drove off to the airport. 

 

The car ride and flight were both silent, once the plane laid the four hoped into a cab and told the driver the direction to exo's dorm. 

 

**

 

In the exo dorm is was silent each of the members sitting on the couch or floor none of them had gotten any sleep that night the image of sehun’s still played in their mind. 

 

Everyone was startled by a loud knocking at the door suho had gotten up to answer the door, as soon as l uhan followed by lay, kris ,and tao came barging in “ where is he was is sehun “ luhan shouted as he came into the dorm”  is he “ luhan said again his eye were at the break with tears “ he’s gone “suho said lightly .

 

“So it's true sehun is died, “ Tao said looking at him, suho only nodded as tears also formed in his eyes. Luhan broke down on his knees crying screaming sehun's name lay, kris and tao also started crying. 

  
  


The days went tears were filled all over sm, now today was sehun's funeral all SM artist were the sehun's friends and family were there along with all his fans who were in the front of the building. Each exo member came up to say something including tao, kris, and luhan. 

 

Luhan was the last to come up and speak “ Sehun was just a member or friend he was family, someone, I could talk to and trust to keep a secret it's more painful knowing that he’ll keep those secrets forever” said before walking off the stage crying. 

 

When sehun body was beginning buried you could hear exo-ls in the back sing universe even exo and other SM artist joined singing while they held back the tears.    { **When I say all of exo im including lahun , kris and tao }**

 

After sehun’s funnel, all of exo felt like something was missing in their life like a missing puzzle piece that will never be found and as time they were each taken into darkness an none of them could escape as it picked them off one by one like a flower petal. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone I want to say that depression and suicide is a serious topic and not to be taken lightly about as a person who suffers from depression and anxiety . 
> 
> An if you guys ever need some to talk , yell at or rant i can be the person as im very open to listen to anyone . 
> 
> you can alway message me on twitter or snapchat im a little more active one snapchat, an if someone you know is suffer from depression make sure to be the shoulder they can lay on cause just even asking a person how they feel can make a big difference . 
> 
> an d those comments that i put in the story are actual comments i've seen about sehun   
> p.s sorry for any errors or grammar .


End file.
